Have you been reminiscing about your ex lately? Wondering if there could be a way to revive that spark back. It’s no secret that breakups are tough. What’s tougher is still sticking with the thought of those moments and thinking, “Should I get back with my ex?”
Well, stop reminiscing. We know coming up with the final answer isn’t easy. Sometimes, they even give you mixed signals, which makes it more confusing. Here, you should use both your brain and heart. This blog will clear up all your confusion, including whether it’s a good idea. Interestingly, a recent study revealed that about 44% of Americans have gotten back together with their exes. However, it’s not always the right decision to go back to the past, especially Ex, isn’t it?
If you’re still in the dilemma of “Should I get back with my ex?”, keep reading. We will walk you through key considerations to help you decide if it’s the right move for you.
Does Getting Back With Your Ex Work?
Let’s be honest. If you like the idea of reuniting with your ex, it’s probably because you or your partner weren’t entirely sure about breaking up in the first place. Perhaps your relationship ended because of wrong timings, different priorities, or maybe a challenging long-distance situation.
Regardless, it’s understandable why you’re drawn back to someone. The warmth that comes with a familiar touch, sound, smell, and feeling can make reviving an old relationship somewhat alluring. In rare cases, lingering feelings for an ex are so intense that just rekindling things doesn’t describe it. Depending on the situation, feelings of longing or desire for one another may persist.
Perhaps you and your former partner are in different stages of your lives right now, and there is no going back to the way things were. If you can turn up ready to develop something new with the same partner, you have the best chance of laying a new foundation that will last this time.
So how do you know if it’s the right move, and when is the right time to do it? Let’s crush it by looking at the signs.
Signs You Can Get Back With Your Ex
Every relationship deserves a second chance, but only if both of you have made major progress and overcome previous negative feelings. If it happens, it is possible to build a connection. In order to make the relationship work for the second time, both of you must be watchful to ensure that neither of you returns to old habits.
i) You notice a change in their actions.
It’s one thing to swear they’ve changed and to talk about how they have learned about or how they’ve grown as a person. But what you actually want to see is the way they live their lives and the things they do on a daily basis.
Action, and not words. If you have significant evidence that your ex has changed and is now making better decisions and acting differently, this is a sign that they have truly changed. That suggests your ex deserves another chance.
ii) You’re a different person now.
Relationships are not just about one person. You must consider how much you’ve changed as well and what you can bring to the new relationship. Have you changed some perspectives? Or have you discovered something new about yourself?
So, if you think you’ve made lots of personal changes and are prepared to handle a new relationship, trust yourself and see what happens.
iii) Your ex still tries to win you back.
There’s a saying that if they love you, they will come back no matter what. That means they’ll do anything to prove their love and come back to you.
As it’s obvious, both of you will have to examine old patterns to avoid falling back onto the track that led to your breakup. Again, for your relationship to thrive, both of you must have completely changed and be able to let go of the spirit of the relationship you used to have. You should handle your new connection as if it were new.
If your ex feels the same way and is willing to start this whole thing to avoid complications, it’s a sign that you can reconcile.
iv) You and your ex learned a lot through the breakup.
If you haven’t done anything new after your breakup, it suggests that neither of you has matured as an individual. That means that if you get back together, there’s a good chance you’ll repeat the same mistakes. People aren’t always ready to be in a relationship, but as time passes, they mature and are able to love each other entirely.
v) Your ex is sorry for their mistake.
Let’s say you ended your relationship because your ex cheated on you or lied for some reason. Instead of apologizing in general for everything they did wrong, it’s a good sign if your ex is apologizing for these specific mistakes. It’s a big deal if they admit their mistakes, right? If they acknowledge where they went wrong and accept responsibility, it shows that they genuinely want to improve and make the relationship work this time.
Moreover, it shows they are wholeheartedly committed to you and interested in making things work out.
vi) You can’t imagine your ex with someone else.
When you can’t picture the thought of your ex moving on and being happy with someone else, it just breaks your heart. You know deep inside that they were really a good and down-to-earth person and partner. At this point, you should start thinking if you can live without them. Sure, you can’t find the same person or, more specifically, a similar partner.
Things to Consider Before Deciding to Get Back Together –
Hold on. Before you go ahead with the final decision of getting back together, there are some things you should do. It’s a major life decision, anyway.
1. Spend some time alone.
Spending some time apart is the best way to think through. Do yourself a favor and follow the no-contact rule for a few weeks. This is an excellent way to heal if you’ve recently broken up. All you have to do is avoid contacting each other so that you can recover from your heartbreak and grow personally.
Yes, it’s hard not to get in touch with your ex because they were part of your daily life once. But you gotta do it, for now. You don’t have to give up your desire to get back your ex. Also, make sure you aren’t making that decision out of fear.
2. Spend time with friends and family.
Start spending quality time with your family and friends to distract yourself from the breakup. This is the best way to stop yourself from feeling lonely and alleviate your mood. In many ways, you’re reminding yourself that you’re worthy of love and have some support system to rely on during difficult times like breakups.
3. Think about the reasons for the break and ways to fix it.
Everything starts from the root cause. Getting back together won’t work out until you understand the reason and take steps to fix it.
Some of the reasons could be:
- Insecurity in a relationship is pushing your partner away.
- Infidelity or betrayal of trust.
- Communication issues, arguments, and fights.
- Differences in values, beliefs, or life goals.
- External assistance from friends, parents, or family.
- Lack of emotional or physical intimacy.
- Financial issues or disagreements about money
- Long distance relationships.
4. Ask your friends and family about your relationship.
Even though a relationship is a personal thing, asking for opinions from your close ones is always a good idea. No doubt there will be people in your life who will say that moving back in with your ex is a bad choice. That’s why it’s important to share it only with a small circle, i.e., your family and friends.
In particular, when your parents approve of your relationship, it’s a big deal. After all, they are the ones who want to see you happy, no matter what. So, set aside some time to interact with them, listen to their perspectives, and analyze the pros and cons of reconnecting with an open mind. Eventually, your heart will connect with the truth – for good!
5. Make sure you’re not making decisions out of desperation.
We all know how the post-break-up feels. It brings lots of stress, depression, anger, and especially denial. While it may feel overwhelming, know that it’s a natural process and healing takes time. In such situations, it’s best to reach out for help from your loved ones, including friends. Inevitably, if you’re planning to get back with your ex, make sure you’re not doing it out of fear and desperation caused by breakup grief.
Ask yourself, “What is it I am most afraid of?” “Am I afraid of losing my ex to someone?” “Will I find another person who will like me?” Thinking about these questions will clear your confusion.
6. Ask yourself if the relationship really has the potential to be fantastic.
Getting together with an ex demands a lot of time and energy. However, in the end, investing all that effort may not necessarily be worthwhile. There’s a possibility that you might fix what was once broken, only to discover that you and your ex aren’t as compatible as you initially thought. So, you need to assess whether your connection with your ex has the potential to be the amazing relationship that you deserve. Besides, you must be excited about the new relationship and the future with your ex.
Consider the ups and downs of the past relationship, the connection you felt with one another, and how it influenced your progress and personal life.
7. Know the difference between missing them and something more.
Missing your ex is normal after a breakup. Many people go back to their exes simply because they miss them, which is wrong. Missing is okay, but don’t overanalyze what that means. It’s not a signal that you’re supposed to get back together.
So before sending the text “I miss you,” think twice. Think about whether it’s the person you miss or something else. Ask yourself if they will come in your future. List down the pros and cons of your ex and analyze what you really want.
8. Get professional advice
It is acceptable to feel overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, and depressed after a breakup. Breakup grief is a normal and prevalent human experience. But it gets better over time. However, if the feeling of sadness is severe and has a significant impact on your life, you should seek professional help.
What Should You Do After Getting Back Together? – Tips
If you’ve decided to get back with your ex considering the above points, here’s what you should know. Follow these expert’s advice to nurture your relationship and keep the connection alive for longer.
Tip #1) Communicate openly and honestly.
Communication is key when it comes to thriving in a relationship. Don’t be afraid to have an open and detailed conversation. Talk about where you feel things went wrong, and come up with a mutual solution. Most importantly, discuss why you both want to be together.
But the catch here is to save yourself from the heartbreak early on. If you still can’t agree on how to proceed, you’ll have a well-thought-out plan that’s acceptable to both you and your ex on how to move forward.
Tip #2 ) Hold each other accountable.
Remember the things and plans you made that fixed the problems that led to the breakup? Don’t forget to stick to the plan. If you or your former partner said you would put more effort into relationship building this time, then let them know when they don’t prioritize the relationship.
So, regardless, you should hold each other accountable for what you do.
Tip #3) Watch for the patterns that lead to breakup.
Most breakups happen because of unhealthy behavior. There is a good chance that it may show up again. After all, habits don’t go away overnight. Once you notice these familiar patterns or behaviors popping up again, even after they promise not to, you must take a step back. Identify the patterns and act differently.
Remind your ex-partner to keep their word and not repeat the same actions. You need to keep doing this. If not, your relationship will end up being toxic again.
Tip #4) Be prepared for the worst.
Often, people end up getting back together with their ex, only to realize that the new relationship is even more toxic than before. Sometimes, an ex is an expert at persuading you that things will get better.
But unfortunately, they may betray you, use you, and go back to the same destructive patterns again. So, even after putting in so much effort, you need to be strong enough to walk away and break it off forever.
They say the grass is greener on the other side, but if you water your own grass regularly, it will stay green. That means getting back together certainly works if you make every effort.
However, if you decide to move on and not get back with your ex, that’s a good thing, too. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Head to the best dating apps, and who knows, you may find the right person. At last, it’s your decision whether to move on or give your former partner a second chance.
Final words!
By now, we hope you’ve made your decision on “Should I get back with my ex?” Taking the time to analyze and speak openly with your ex can help get your relationship back on track. Sure, you may still have feelings for your ex, but that doesn’t mean you have to get back together.
Getting back together with your ex could be a good thing, or it could mean putting yourself back in a distressing situation. Also, don’t get back with your ex just because it’s the easiest path. It is up to you to determine what you are looking for and why you might want to give your relationship another try. Only you can decide what’s best for you. So trust your instincts.
FAQs
1.Is it a good idea to get back with an ex?
Ans: It depends on your current situation. If your relationship ended because of timing or unfavorable circumstances, and now you both are in a better place to prioritize your relationship, then it’s a good idea to get back with your ex. Otherwise, it’s a big no.
2. Do exes get back together successfully?
Ans: Research shows that nearly 50% of people have successfully reunited with their exes and started a new happy relationship. That means chances of returning with an ex are more likely to succeed if communicated well.
3. Is it worth trying to get my ex back?
Ans: Decide whether you want your ex back to get comfort and love or if they add something meaningful to your life. Also, if you’re 100% sure that you both have changed yourselves and can have a healthy relationship, then it’s worth trying.
4. How long should exes wait to get back together?
Ans: There’s no fixed time. If you were in a committed relationship for over a year and broke up, then two months or a year is a suitable time to get back together. Give yourself as much time as you need until you feel confident to make the final decision.
5. Do I still love my ex, or am I just lonely?
Ans: If you miss being in a relationship and not your ex, then it means you’re just lonely and crave some connection. In contrast, if you’re missing the person (your ex) and want their presence, then you’re still in love with them.
6. Do most exes regret it?
Ans: Not all of them. When couples break up with each other, only a few of them regret their actions. Some move on easily, while others feel miserable and decide to get their exes back.
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